Lot's wife visited me a few months ago and, as it is with all my visits from the Divine Beings, I really enjoyed her. You might be asking, "What is a visit and how do you know?"
Initially the visits just start with them making their presence known and it is a sensing of their presence and then hearing their name and seeing a visual of them in my mind's eye. Visits also happen to me out of the blue, not when I am in meditation or asking for guidance or to connect with anyone in particular. I like the way that happens...it lets me know there is something important soon to be revealed in a "What you seek is seeking you" sort of way.
So, I sat with her and listened. In the beginning she just let me know that she was with me and over the course of a few weeks every so often she would come back to me. One day I asked, "What is it that you would like to tell me?"
It was as if she had been waiting for me to ask and she answered simply, "Don't look back. There is a time and a place for that but for now, don't look back."
We've all been told at some point or another not to look back but I think she also pointed out that sometimes you need to heal from the past and from what you've left behind. So there are actually two ways of approaching this...
*Don't look back
*look back to heal deeper when the time is right
In preparing to write this journal entry to you I was led by her to pull out my old Bible and read the story we have of Lot's wife (Genesis ch.19) to put together more of the pieces of her message because I knew that there was something deeper. She did not reveal to me her given name and in the Biblical story she is only called "Lot's wife".
How many women have lost their identity? How many women have become an extension of those around them that they care for...Adam's mom, Bob's sister, Susan's aunt, Jackie's cousin, Jodi's teacher?
When I worried about this and felt sadness for her, she reassures me that it is all right. She knows in her heart and soul who she is and yes, she is a pillar.
"A pillar of truth," she says.
In re-reading her story, I also re-discovered her husband Lot and he did NOT seem to be the righteous and pious man we have been led to believe he was! There is also mention of angels and aliens visiting Lot and his family to get them out of the city before it was destroyed by God but let's start at the beginning.
In the chapter preceding the story of Lot and his wife, Abraham is visited by God and two other men as he sat by the oak trees. During this visit, Abraham was told that his wife would have a child by the next year and was warned by God that he planned to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because, "...their sin is exceedingly grave."
Abraham was disturbed by this news and began to make a bit of a plea bargain for the people. He asked God to spare the land if there were 50 righteous souls in the cities and God agreed. Abraham did not seem to have much confidence of finding this many and eventually had God agree to sparing the cities if he could find only 10 righteous people.
The two men who were with Abraham then departed and headed to Sodom and Gomorrah where they visited the house of Lot. Lot, like Abraham, viewed these men as if they were angels and invited them inside. They must have been very handsome men for soon after their arrival, the people of the town (men are mentioned specifically) come in droves to Lot's house banging on his door asking him to send the men out so that they might "know them", the connotation here being of a sexual nature. Lot did not find this to be an acceptable thing, so he instead offered to send out his two daughters!
Yes. That is what it says! There is no mention of his wife at this point and so I asked her where she was. She explained that she was not home at the time and that many times Lot did things behind her back, much in the same way that she looked back while behind him so that he did not know. More on the reason for that in a bit...
The townsmen were not happy with this and claimed that one of the men was an "alien". I guess that could mean someone who was not from around there but I like to think they meant an extra-terrestrial!
Well, Lot's daughters did not have to go out and get to "know" the men because the angels pulled them all out of the house and took them outside of the city and told them to keep going to a specific place where they would be safe. At this point, Lot's wife is back home and is brought out to safety with her husband and two unmarried daughters. She had two married daughters who remained with their husbands in their homes.
When God rained down on the cities the fire and brimstone he had promised and destroyed them, the family was traveling to the mountains. Lot was ahead of his wife with her daughters when she looked back and became "a pillar of salt."
In my conversations with her, Lot's wife explained that she was an alchemist. In secret she helped others to live a life of alchemy and did so because her husband did not understand her deep wisdom nor did he appreciate it. She lived in a time and place where secrecy was important and led a group of women into the secrets of alchemy and magic.
She knew that being herself in secret was the best thing for her to do, not because she did not care for her husband but because she cared for herself and knew the importance of holding her path in integrity.
When I asked why the story tells of her being turned into a pillar of salt and the significance of that she explained that salt is a purifier and in the process of looking back we are healed from our past and made pure and whole. There is a time and place for looking back, letting go, moving forward and healing from the past. Simply, salt purifies.
I then asked about her children and she explained that her daughters that stayed behind did so to help protect the other women in the cities and bring them to safety. They were also alchemists but they had the support of their husbands. Their husbands laughed at Lot's warning to leave the city with them so that they could remain behind with their wives to help lead the others to safety.
The two daughters who left with Lot's wife into the mountains did not follow their mother's path and this pained her yet she understood that all must walk their own path. She was their mother and loved them but they did not share her beliefs or practices.
Don't ever be afraid to be yourself, to keep your gifts hidden from those who do not support you for who you are, to look back when the time is right, and to keep looking forward when you need to let go and blaze a new trail for yourself.
Create alchemy in your life.
Believe that you are more than people perceive you to be.
Know that others have their paths to follow and love them for who they are, not for who we wish for them to be. This takes strength and a deep compassionate heart.
And heed the words of Jesus in the book of Luke...
"Remember Lot's wife."
Yes, remember her for she is there for you, to help you look back and heal your wounds from the past and to help you move forward with grace, ease and confidence.
I had this email scheduled to go out and crawled into bed, thinking of Lot's wife and enjoying her presence and guidance in my life. In true Goddess fashion, as I was falling asleep she revealed to me her name...
"Miriam", she said.
Now we know.
Sending you so much love...