Stillness after the exhale

I spent the day working on taxes and having some hard realizations about the intricacies of my life hidden inside those numbers. Over the past year and a half I've been increasingly aware of how my physical body deals with the mental and emotional strain of what I am trying to wrap my head around and process.  

It goes completely numb and I begin to break out into a cold sweat and then the shaking begins.  It is so strong a reaction and I always fight through it by trying to stay calm and breathe through it giving myself some reprimanding words like "Keep you head on straight!" and "You can't say that right now", and "Just wait."

I made it through that day and through the stress my emotions played out inside my body and that night, as I crawled into bed surrounded by my fuzzy blankets,  I listened to a guided meditation.  The meditation guided me through breathing in and holding it for a moment, breathing out and holding for a moment before breathing in again.  As I focused on my breath I began to notice that ever so slightly and ever so subtly in that small moment between breathing out and breathing in that I felt a sense of calm and letting go.  The tension was gone.  It was a feeling of sweet surrender that I began to focus on so that I could recognize that feeling and pull it back out from hiding in the tightness of my body.

There was a gift of surrender after the exhale.  A gift of letting go.  A gift of serenity forgotten.  But I was remembering and my body was remembering.  I was truly amazed and grateful.

Life doesn't always play out nice or the way we want it to.  There are things we are asked to let go of.  There are things we need to let go of. There are things we need to embrace and surrender to.  Knowing what to do and when the perfect time has come to take those steps doesn't always play out easily but the more we tune in and listen to our bodies, the closer we get to our TRUTH.

White Hot Truth

I chose some words at the beginning of the year that I wanted to have more of....Magic, Adventure, Abundance.  And now I add TRUTH.

The Truth is always ours.  It is always white.  It is always hot.  It is always glowing inside but so many times we prefer to snuff out our Truth for something less than, for something not quite as fulfilling.  Over the past few weeks the words to a song I learned during childhood have echoed over and over in my mind....you may remember it

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

 

Hide it under a bushel, NO!  I'm going to let it shine!

Hide it under a bushel, NO!  I'm going to let it shine!

Hide it under a bushel, NO!  I'm going to let it shine!

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

The best thing is, that after I began to remember that song just out of the blue one morning, references to it began to pop up around me. Literally, on social media I was shown links friends had posted to beautiful soulful singing renditions of this song or heard a reference to "letting your light shine" during interviews or in their own personal posts about not hiding their light any longer.  

So, as hard as it gets sometimes, as hard as it is to keep my Inner Strength muscle toned, and as hard as it is to remain lit up I know that for me to find my magic, adventure, abundance and truth I need to allow myself to shine.  Lightworkers find themselves in the dark many times because of the need for light in that dark space.  Light shines within the Truth.

There are some amazing women out there whose work I find myself sharing over and over.  One of them is Danielle LaPorte author of The Desire Map, and the Fire Starter Sessions, she is getting ready to launch her newest book, White Hot Truth in just a few weeks.  Because I have been touched by her work so deeply, I decided to sign on to be one of the launch team to read this newest book and get the word out about it. Just let me say that within the first chapters I was mesmerized and struck by her words.  She has so much Truth to share about this journey we call Life, our experiences in the world of the metaphysical, our inner search for our own Truth as we navigate through our relationships and belief systems. It's about being soft, using your mind, following your heart, standing up for your Self, creating YOU based on YOUR experiences and not those of someone else.  It's about discovering and embracing your own White Hot Truth because no one knows what that means for you better than you do. No one.

Be sure to add this to your Must Read List, because I know you love to make those lists, and this is one you won't want to miss.  

I hope that by sharing some of my own journey in today's Goddess Diaries that it brought you some clarity into your own wondrous life.  

Sending you so much love.