Blessed are you, Timeless folds of wisdom
I invoke the lightness of stars to sparkle in my hair
Give me the grace to embrace all my shiny parts
As I breathe new life into the empty spaces
Be my breath of fresh air
Lift me high into the blueness of the sky
to see the possibilities of my world around me with fresh eyes.
Like warm comforting soup, settle into my bones and enrich the marrow inside to keep producing from my Self all the energy and power I need,
to stay afloat,
to stay grounded
to stay connected....
To all the ups and downs of my Destiny. To be everything you believe I can be.
Help me to remember, not my past, but my future, and embrace it with open arms
My long lost love
A honeymoon with life never ending.
I posted a photo of myself floating in the Nile on Facebook and a friend commented, "You were in de-nile?!" Clever but perhaps true. As much as I've tried getting in touch with my Self more and creating happiness in my life through the really hard stuff, I am sure that there are areas that I was more than happy to just keep swimming...in denial. It's peaceful there, you know, when you don't really deal with the uncomfortable thing that is downright uncomfortable to deal with.
IDK about you, but for me I want this year to be different. Yes, full of magic and adventure with its fair share of rainbows and unicorns and cupcakes but also a year of new beginnings and change. Real change. The kind that feels like you are different...not the same...you know, going through the Change (not that one, ladies!)
A few weekends ago I drove to my old college-days stomping grounds in central Kentucky to attend a journaling workshop that I had attended in the past. It was a way to look over the past year, read some beautiful poems and get some writing prompts to write about the year and its events. I took one journal, but when I got home I came across some of my older unfinished journals and wow! Over the past few years there seems to be a sort of broken record club happening in them...it's embarrassing to ME to read them!
I realized, even at the workshop, that I want to really move forward and to do that I will need to make changes. Not just a change in where I live or what I may be doing with my spare time or my work, but a real bonafide change. The only way to do that is to take a long hard look at myself and what behaviors I need to change in order to make the lasting and meaningful changes I want in my life. It means I will have to be brutally honest with myself and be brutally ruthless in sticking to my new behavior patterns because I know it is not only going to be hard for ME to stick to them, it is going to be hard to retrain others around me to learn to deal with and accept this "new" me.
But, I'm ready, damn it! I invested in myself to take a course to guide me through this messy project. I invested in myself and purchased a Desire Map journal to map it all out and stay on course. I invested in myself and hired someone to talk to to call me out on all the excuses I have for just about everything. I have no doubt that it is not going to be all the rainbows and unicorns and cupcakes that I wish it could be but change and changing the Self is a roll-up-your-sleeves kind of journey.
It's messy and uphill all the way for quite a while but I know the plateau is just ahead...maybe a few months or more, but it is going to be worth it.
At the end of the year my goal is to be able to go through my journals and see more self empowerment, more self realization, more self truth telling without the excuses, smoke and mirror tricks I've been used to.
So, how are things with you? Yes, we're already into the new year, but it is never too late to begin again, especially when it comes to making change and creating a better life for this new you that you want to become.