"Life can be hard sometimes. You have to be strong, stand your ground and do it all while you are feeling overwhelmed with trying to figure it out and none of it makes any sense. You get bogged down and tired and downright sad and you might cry a lot and not be able to eat or sometimes not be able to stop eating. But in the middle of it all, all you have is you and no one is going to step up and take care of you better than you.
And so that's where I've been and where I'm at and tonight there is a calm, knowing that I have honored where I'm at and done what I need to do for me...get away, take a hike, go to festivals and look at old cars, go to the water again and again, watch the clouds, smell the flowers, stand in the rain, and take pictures of my journey...lots and lots of pictures...so that when I need to remember that I took care of myself like no one else can, I can see it and feel it and swim in it and sleep well.
So no matter where you're at, take care of yourself, take those selfies and pictures of your food and sunsets and heart shaped things on the trail, and write write write. Write all of the words that get trapped inside. They are your bread crumbs back to your sanity."
Down the Rabbit Hole and the Princess and the Pea
Recently I participated in a writing group because I needed to express myself. I needed to get the words on paper that floated around that sea of tears hidden inside my heart. The words that flowed out through the pen from my heart and the hearts of the others who were in the group were gripping, heart-wrenching, sad, raw and beautifully eloquent. And now, I feel as if I have honored that part of healing and letting go and I am ready to start my adventures down the rabbit hole. I want to swim in different waters.
I still want to write, but I don't want to write about how life is hard sometimes and how much it hurts to go on and how confusing it is. I want to write about the wonders hidden inside the rabbit hole...that place where Alice found herself talking to caterpillars smoking on top of mushrooms and having tea with a white rabbit. I want to write about the 6 impossible things I might like to believe before breakfast like flying away to Africa by holding onto the claws of a crow, or tasting the smoothness of a hard-boiled egg that tastes like marshmallows, or living in a world that only exists upside down on ceilings.
There is something to be said for the imagination and getting away from the way that all the things are supposed to be. It is creating that space for childlike wonder and amazement ...and a place of safety and trust. And yes, sometimes all of this emerges from the darkness of the rabbit hole where seeds are planted in the moonlight and fairies sprinkle Hope and Optimism on them while they sing lullabies in strange languages.
If you would be brave and dare to follow me down that rabbit hole, what things might we discover there waiting patiently for us to get out of our own way? The trees might be filled with cupcakes and the sky above would be a kaleidescope of tie-dye and puddles that reflected the sunshine. There might be unicorns having a picnic with ladybugs and dogs chatting to each other in sign language. There might be caterpillars with wings attending a fancy hat contest and hot air balloons flying upside down. There might be dreams of falling and giving a speech totally naked or riding your bicycle through the woods filled with teeth hanging from the branches from the tooth fairy's nightly escapades. There might be a prince in the form of a frog turning beautiful girls into toads who dared to kiss him and change him from being a perfectly fine frog prince.
And then there's YOU. You might be brave and strong and fearless in the face of those who put out your fire on a daily basis. You might be brave and strong and fearless in the face of those who don't understand you and who don't believe in you. You might be brave and strong and fearless in the face of losing your job or your relationship or your way of life for the past 20 years. You might write that book. You might start that blog. You might sell your knitting in a market or start weaving hair for a living. You might overcome those negative voices inside your head.
What things are waiting patiently for you to discover down that rabbit hole? You never know until you jump in!
The Princess and the Pea
A metaphor that was brought to my attention the other day (and by the other day, that could mean 2 days ago or 3 months!) and it was of the fairy tale of the Princess and the Pea. It was the lesson of not being able to sleep on that thing that we try to cover up that we really don't want or need in our life but that we keep shoving under the mattress...LOTS of mattresses...and yet it continues to make us uncomfortable. Bruises us, even, and makes enjoying life nearly impossible.
There may be things in your own life that are like that pea under her mattress. There may be things in your life that need.to.change.right.now! So, with the magic of the Autumn Equinox upon us, the magic of the waning moon and the waning of daylight I encourage you to use that magic to truly dig that pea out from under the mattresses and deal with the issue. It will not be easy...those mattresses are heavy! They are filled with all of our fears and our tears and our cold nervous sweat. They are filled with tiny little microscopic pieces of you...your past, your pain, that part of you that has shed already and that you no longer need.
Don't feel like you have to do it all alone. Ask someone to help you be strong and move those old heavy mattresses out and toss out that annoying pea.
I promise, you will sleep better...and you will dream...possibly of six impossible things before breakfast to inspire you...before you dive into that rabbit hole!
Sending you so much love....