Into the Cave with Isis
As 2025 came to a close, I felt ready for the New Year. Soon it would be the Year of the Horse and what could be better than that after such shedding during the Year of the Snake? If you know me at all, you know how much I love horses and everything about them, so of course this seemed filled with good fortune - freedom, movement forward, courage - you know, all the valiant things about horses.
I was reminded that snakes shed because they grow and that when they shed, they shed the skin that covers their eyes, rendering them blind, so they withdraw into a quiet, dark space. I could feel the Universe gently tapping my chin, “Chin up”. So often I commune with the Universe and quite often receive answers and insight, but last year was different. It wasn’t that the Universe was quiet or that I felt alone….far from it! I was on one of the most sacred paths of all….the path of the Blind Oracle, a potent time to withdraw into the Cave and surrender to trust. I seemed to simply find my Self in the Cave with Isis, unsure if I was Isis or Osiris but now, after communing with them in the dark quiet of the Cave for months, I understand…I had been both.
During one visit to Dendera in the chapel of Osiris on the roof, I stood silently before the carvings of Osiris shown on his bed and being brought to life. (Read that blog HERE) It was an extremely powerful experience and perhaps that was the beginning of everything that was to come that seemingly fell apart. It was shortly after that experience that another trip was being planned for April 2025 and there was this unmistakable feeling of foreboding. I kept asking for clarity but all I knew was that it was going to change everything and that it would not be easy. So I trusted in the process and it ended up feeling like I was Aurora in the movie "Maleficent" when she goes into a type of trance and pricks her finger. It was in those moments of planning and feeling the foreboding, that I began to surrender and trust because although it felt Big and definitely like something that was not going to be easy, there was also this feeling of Fate attached to it. While the April trip was a wonderful success for my participants, I had been bitten by a bug that became infected before the main tour had even started. I became very sick and was in so much pain for the entire trip which made leading the group as I was used to nearly impossible. When we arrived in Luxor, I had to have a surgery to drain the abscess. I felt like a failure as a leader as I was incapacitated and unable to accompany them to all the temples....especially after receiving the word "LEADERSHIP!" from the Sphinx on our visit to him at the beginning of the trip. I was like, "WTF?!" (more on that later).
I returned home very weak, exhausted, and even traumatized in ways I couldn't explain. I knew inside my bones to go deep inside of my Self and basically shut out the world (other than my family) to process a humongous shift in my life. At that time, I literally had no words to express the alchemy that was taking place within my entire being but I knew that to process it at all, I needed to withdraw….to the quietness of the Cave. It was a powerful and painful time for me and one that did not go over well with some in my circle of friends. But I did it for me even if they couldn't understand.
Since the wound has healed and I’m feeling stronger, I’ve come to understand that I was on one of the most sacred paths of all….the path of the Blind Oracle, a potent time to withdraw into the Cave and surrender to trust. As I was recently contemplating this concept and my experience, the Goddess Isis came to me and showed me her stories and experience of grief over losing Osiris. She showed me how it tore her apart and how she cried and mourned and no one wanted to accept her this way….they just wanted her to be “normal” . She showed me that more than anything, she needed to surrender and honor her own process. Then she told me that she was me…..that I had walked this path of hers into the Cave.
Then she showed me Osiris on the bed, barely alive and how she was able to pull her Self together enough to begin working her magic and bring him to life. She showed me that this was when our roles switched and instead of me being Isis, I was now Osiris: torn apart, barely alive but hanging on as she worked on my body. Then she showed me the entrance to the Cave and Set bursting in to tear Osiris even more….but she reminded me that she had me and I would overcome everything. Just continue to surrender and trust.
And so I did. I held her vision and her words inside my heart and let them reverberate through my chest and ring in my ears. I let the vision course through my veins and trusted the process of alchemy taking place. I so wanted to emerge from this Cave but it felt like the safest place so I knew I needed to give my Self just a bit more time. I once again felt like Aurora surrendering to Fate but now understood the experience in a whole new way. This was the sacred path of the Blind Oracle…. and what sweet relief that was! 2025 was the Year of the Snake and it was a tough one, but even in the midst of all the pain and healing, I knew deep inside how powerful this time was. I knew that something wonderful was coming to life inside that Cave because now there was a light within that darkness ….and it was coming from within me.
These writings are my stepping out into the light of day to see how that feels, and the trust feels good to lean into. I look forward to what will emerge from the Cave and know it will unfold in Divine Timing.
Thank you for being on this journey with me,
~ Auset