Last week I was in Michigan teaching and offering readings and photo sessions at the Great Lakes Retreat, which you should REALLY come to next year BTW, and on the way there I decided to stop through NW Ohio to visit my grandmother who I hadn't seen for quite some time. She is 95 and doing well, but you know...she's 95! It always stirs up a lot of emotion and inner conflict for me to go up there because I have such really great memories of growing up and visiting grandma's house and seeing all the cousins and feeling like I was related in some way to the entire community of Archbold, Ohio. The conflict comes from the way I was brought up to believe in Jesus and the way I believe and live my life now.
My family prays I will come back to Jesus and see the Light. But at this point I have so many wondrous and magical experiences that there IS no going back.
Some of the family (aunts, uncles, cousins) were out of town for the week so I didn't get to see them, but I stayed exactly where I was supposed to stay...at my aunt and uncle's farm.
I rode in the ATV thing with my uncle out to check on the cows and take some pictures. For the past 9 months I have been living in the 'city'...apartment living at it's finest in the closest place to nature that I could find, across from a large park and reservoir. But spending time in the soft hours of the evening, listening to the cows graze and meander through the tall grass and look at you...I forgot how much I love and miss spending time this way. It is so naturally relaxing and calming and sorry, but how can you eat these beautiful creatures?
Anyway, I took a LOT of pictures of the cows...how can you not? Those big brown eyes! And that thing they do with their tongues!! Eeewww!!!!
The day I arrived I spent time with my grandmother and we drove around to my grandfather's gravesite and visited other family at the cemeteries as well as stopping by to see the school where she attended from 1st-3rd grade! The next day we went to her hometown's 150th Parade together and she really enjoyed that! Toward the end of my visit she expressed so beautifully and honestly to me that she was a little nervous about my visit b/c of our different beliefs. But, she said that she had a very nice time with me and that I was always welcome to visit.
Then she asked if she could pray with me before I left.
It's all she knows. That and that she loves me.
The class I taught at the GLR was "Sothis: Discovering your Authentic Self in the Stars" I had a room full of students and the class went by waayyy too fast. Our past was explored, our present was navigated, and our future was illuminated. Tears were shed, Ah-ha moments were had, and it was one of the most powerful courses I have had the blessing to teach.
I feel like this part of my healing journey has completion and I am sure when I return to Ohio that another layer will be revealed to sort through, but it was such a beautiful experience and I hope with all my heart that if you have a past that haunts you because you are different from who you were growing up or that you have always felt out of step with those around you that you call family that you know that you are not alone. You are a Light beaming bright.
And, if you want to tell me your story, I would love to hear it in the comments below.