Living....really LIVING!!!

One of the things I have been most conscious of over the past few months has been where my mind is and what it is focusing on as its perception of my world.  The past two years have been challenging as I have moved through this being separated-Thing and healing my heart has been an every day challenge....BUT...that challenge is not my only story!

When I started to ask myself THIS question, things started to change in a really great and positive way and...

           Life got Really.Good.

There were a LOT of things going my way when I rearranged my thoughts to tally them all up.  It was as if all the Good Things were lined up waiting for me to notice them and call their number.  I started to notice when my thoughts were bringing me down or when it was that.same.damn.gerbil running non-stop on the Wheel to Nowhere and I re-focused on how it was that I wanted to feel.  I knew that the tension, the anxiety, the stressed-out feeling I was hosting a party for in my body was NOT the way I wanted to feel.  I needed to invite all the Good Things to my party to change ... not only how I was feeling ... but my LIFE.  

A saying I've been repeating lately is... "I am ready to LIVE again!"  No more hanging out in my lovely little apartment on the couch watching endless hours of Jimmy Fallon to find laughter.  No more feeling meek and invisible and letting my feelings be pulled this way and that way by things I only wanted to believe because I couldn't face the Truth.  No more feeling powerless and fearing the unknown.

No. More. Thank. You.

Feeling Good and Staying Grounded

For the 4th of July I had absolutely no plans.  No plans with friends, no plans with family, no plans by myself...nothing.  I went to the farm that morning and had a lovely ride with Fred.  No one was there, which made it easier to focus on her and the smell of dirt in her coat and horse sweat.  Mmmmm.  

Then, later that day I decided to go to fireworks somewhere and chose to go to my hometown of Zionsville.  I hadn't seen the fireworks there since I was a kid (if my memory serves me!).  I packed a picnic for myself and found a good place to see the show and waited for the sun to set and the show to begin.  A part of me felt sad that I was there by myself as I watched the families around me having fun together but then I also noticed some other people who were there by themselves and felt a sense of camaraderie and acceptance.  Yes, I was there alone but I wasn't alone and I was enjoying my time in the park with the rest of the crowd. 

Another part of feeling good and staying grounded in my own Truth was getting into my body again and getting outside, sweating, feeling the sunshine.  I love Love LOVE being outside and I am noticing how much it is an integral part of my well-being. Riding Fred is part of it.  Going to the park is part of it.  Earlier this spring while on a sanity search through the woods on a particularly tough day I came across a wildlife photographer up on a ladder with a REALLY long lens and of course, THAT had my attention!!  He was photographing a nesting Great Horned Owl in a hollow tree top.  OOOOHHH!  So we exchanged information as he said he visits the park quite often and this past week he contacted me to go look for eagles.  

We walked through the woods, me chatting away nonstop like some happy little squirrel and stopped in a narrow clearing to capture some shots of egrets.  Then the egrets left, there was a bit of squawking and then...... swooping in from the treetops was the bald eagle!!!  He dipped down over the water and reached in with his strong talons and grabbed a fish!!!!  I had never seen this before and to try to capture it AND watch it at the same time was so exciting...especially since I had a few shots that were in good focus!!!

Spending time with my horse, spending time with me doing things I enjoy, spending time with friends....

Yeah...that's how I want to feel.

How do YOU want to feel?  Send me an email....I'd love to hear your story!!!

amyausetrohn@gmail.com