When the Light Returns

 

This Winter Solstice I was once again offering readings at an annual Solstice party. The party was a little different in that everyone was more lively than in year's past and it was not a sit-down-gallery-style reading session...it was more like, pick-a-card-and-I'll-give-you-a-reading-in-the-middle-of-the-chaos!!!!  Talk about fun!!!!  I absolutely loved being able to simply interact on a more personal level with everyone rather than share their reading with the entire room.  The best thing is that it doesn't matter how much activity is going on around me, the readings still come through loud and clear and right on point.  One woman even pulled me aside to share that a year ago I had predicted that her life would turn upside down in 6 months....and that it had in fact, been quite a ride.

This year, the light returning was truly the most wonderful and delicious sensation for me.  I don't know that it has ever impacted me the way it did this year but that light returning was like a light at the end of a tunnel that I could focus on and walk toward.  
 

The past few years have been a gift; a challenge to be sure but definitely a gift.  The struggles, the tears, and the challenges have all served their purpose in my life and I feel stronger, braver, more grounded, and more connected to the Universe in ways that continue to amaze me.  I've worked and dug deep and kept going especially when all I did was want to give up and disappear.  There are still days I want to crawl into a hole and hide from the world....and I have started to notice what prompts these feelings.  

Feelings.  Those are the key.  How I want to FEEL...and feelings I want to experience as much as humanly possible.  

Focus.  This is also a huge factor.  Am I focusing too much on the glass that is half empty to see all the yummy goodness that fills it halfway?  I discovered that if I focus on the negative feelings I am basically choosing to remain stuck, unhappy, unresolved, and unmotivated.

As the light returned, I've invited it inside to take a closer look at what all I do and the why behind it.  Why do I write? Why do I talk to strangers?  Why do I enjoy taking pictures, bringing coffee, making phone calls, doing the legwork for projects, cleaning stalls when it is below zero and my fingers freeze so much they ache?  It all boils down to how I want to feel and what I will do to make sure I feel that way.

I want Life to feel like magic, full of adventure and abundance.  I want to feel like I belong....everywhere I find myself.  I want to feel good because I've made someone else feel good.  I want to feel like I am a part of things outside of myself and I want to be someone that others can always count on. I want to serve.  I want to support.  I want to give.  I want to nurture the people and things I love.  I want to be inspired and to inspire others.

All of these feelings keep me focused on living, on saying yes or no, on refusing to quit, and on being my own best friend.  It can be exhausting, not gonna lie, but that's all part of the juiciness...to take time out, to tap in and get connected, to listen to the smallest voice, whether it is inside of me or from the spaces between the stars that know all the secrets.

2016 was a good year.  2017 was a good year.  And right now, I am excited about all the possibilities and goodness that 2018 holds.  For me.  For you.  For all of us.